Last night I did a performance that did not go well. I sang a couple of songs at the piano. I was very nervous. Nerves get to me when I am performing now- it used to be easy- I was trying to be good - maybe thats the problem - trying to hard to be good. I felt my dodgy piano playing and the mistake strewn inaccurateness and my nervy trembling fingertips didn't help me. A couple of singing phrases were ok but I was not happy- after I'd finished I couldn't let it go, I left the party and felt humiliated.
The difference between a cabaret/party atmosphere and a theatre is that in the theatre you create your space you create the right conditions for yourself and welcome your audience into your space, where as in a cabaret/party/club atmosphere your space is the stage around you, the audience own the space and you need to project.
So I came away feeling humiliated and small and feeling I'll never perform again- thats what I used to do, but I didn't want to dwell in that bad place so I ask myself
why so naff?
what can be better?
so, two ways of starting a performance :
1. Do something easy and repetitive while you put your attention on the audience and get their attention on you.
2 Do something big surprising and strange, so they have no option but to give you some attention
but maybe the best thing is to not take it so seriously, don't hide, just go for it whether you're naff or brilliant and anyway you always have a few moments grace at the top of a show- the audience default is to love you until you do something to make them think otherwise