Thursday, 30 March 2017

The past is not carried in things

The past is not carried in things 

but in your muscles your bones 

the way you think move and react 

the way you react to the world around you

so obvious to some people

but hoarders may disagree 

Ma's Dementia Song (To the tune of My Way, nearly)

I ——
am  not quite sure
that what is what
and which is certain

But I——
I don’t find
That my mind
is any kind
 of burden

And I —-
I have found
that the ground
beneath my feet
makes me queasy,

But I—
I don’t mind 
the daily grind
I find it easy

I- - -
who was quite sure
am now unsure
of that I am certain,

but what is this,
that you see here, 
I’ll say it  clear,
I have no fear
And now,
the mist is close 
and What you see
is me


Sunday, 26 March 2017

The Pageturner's Story

Once upon a time there was a story (turn page)

A story so gripping to that  when people read it they held their breath until ....(Page turn)

They arrived at the next page and even then, when they thought they could breath out ...(page turn)

They couldn't  because as soon as they thought they could...(next page)

Something else came along, something far more dangerous and frightening ....(next page)

The plot thickens. What many thought was it, what it could be, was NOT. It was something else, something far bigger ...(n.p)

Saturday, 18 March 2017


My new website is under construction, waiting until I can afford it but it will looks something like this

From Imagining to Managing
performance music stories
Teaching & Enabling, Photos, Old Books 

F I 2 M

Meanwhile some unrealised old ideas need reviving in the age of Trump, like this- a video blog?-


Grit Curtis has pearls to share with you.

Grit Curtis is many things - radio dj., financial advisor, singer, stage hypnotist, lover, truck driver, friend of the late great Barry White, philosopher and author, pet bereavement therapist and  author of such books as "Coping with Pet Loss” , ‘Let’s Pretend We are on Prozac’ and ‘Is a Bonsai Tree  disabled?’ and many, many other things besides.
He makes many  personal appearances, mini films, TV and radio broadcasts, and on social media.
Grit’s wisdom is questionable, but his drive to spread it … isn’t.  Grit claims he doesn't want to be president but someone else has got the job.  
Grit is likeably repulsive, knowingly naïve.  His sincerity is evident, but unproved. His taste in clothes is questionable.  He is narcissistic schizophrenic. He thinks he is a  chameleon he thinks he can be anything he wants to be, but everyone knows his unmistakeable face

We want to make a series of  short videos from 15secs to two minutes in length entitled ‘PEARLS OF GRIT’.
Each video, each pearl will be built around slogans and statements and brief anecdotes of meetings with wise celebrities (Talking philosophy and gardening with Barry White) from the meaningless (‘you are only as clean as your teeth’, to the seemingly sound (‘buying a new shirt won’t get rid of the dandruff.’). the videos will be shot and edited on mini-DV.
Grit Curtis is written and performed by Jonathan Stone and shot and directed by Martin Jones.
Grit say things like 'their are far too many people out ther giving far too much advice'

Friday, 17 March 2017

Grit talks humility

Grit Curtis says ...

Hello there. They say you learn more from your mistakes than your successes.
But that’s just not true   
They just say that to make you feel better.
I should know because
I have made many many mistakes,
and I can safely say
my mistakes have taught me nothing

No no no, success has taught me all I know.
And though i have succeeded at many things
 I still need more, yes I do.
I'm not proud
Well just a bit

What do I need more of?
More humility, 
but I can’t seem to find it any where,
Am I too proud?
Maybe ... but I'm proud to be proud
I have humility enough already, 
Yes, that’s right, I have humility enough already,  but 
Yes too much humility impedes the the push to the peak 
Yes I mustn't be too humble. Nor too arrogant. 
Arrogance who needs it? certainly not little ol’ humble me, and I am so so humble
Find that perfect blend of pride arrogance and humility 

There are far too many people out there giving far too much advice ….

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Memory disputed

Memories are slippery combination of fact and fiction - they never seem  completely accurate; sometimes when I remember something, even if the memory is vivid clear as a bell and  I am mostly (say80%)right, it might get disputed as if the whole memory is totally wrong. There always is at least a germ of truth that triggers the memory, but it is hard to know if the memory is
a) purely of the event, or
b) of the event plus your thought or take on it at the time.
The veracity of the event- that it happened (how do you prove the facts? Was it documented? ) cannot be disputed but your take on the event (however clear or 'true' you feel the memory is) might be. But what if its not disputed? then maybe all the different takes, the different versions of the memory  if accepted, add up to  a multi faceted rich gem of a memory of an event or the response true, false, embellished or whatever, of its witnesses.

Friday, 10 March 2017

On the Move

For a time standing still,
watching the world move 
was good for me; 
 but that time has passed,
it has its side effects -
enough is enough,
wandering, browsing,  
 now feels bad for me;
lack of balance, confusion; 
getting out of step with the  world.

 But now I want to be part of it, so I must move with it,

some things move faster than others

even if like high clouds or the stars
 they move so slowly that at first glance they appear still,

and people prefer what they get used to,
prefer you to stay the same
 but if you react and adapt, stay on the move ...

and  leave the wandering, the watching, the lack of balance to others

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

Performance Nerves

 Last night I did a performance that did not go well. I sang a couple of songs at the piano. I was very nervous. Nerves get to me when I am performing now- it used to be easy- I was trying to be good - maybe thats the problem -  trying to hard to be good. I felt my dodgy piano playing and the mistake strewn inaccurateness and my nervy trembling fingertips didn't help me. A couple of singing phrases were ok but I was not happy- after I'd finished I couldn't let it go, I left the party and felt humiliated.
The difference between a cabaret/party atmosphere and a theatre is that in the theatre you create your space you create the right conditions for yourself and welcome your audience into your space, where as in a cabaret/party/club atmosphere your space is the stage around you, the audience own the space and you need to project.
So I came away feeling humiliated and small and feeling I'll never perform again- thats what I used to do, but I didn't want to dwell in that bad place so I ask myself
why  so naff?
what can be better?

so, two ways of starting a performance :

1. Do something easy and repetitive while you put your attention on the audience and get their attention on you.

2 Do something big surprising and strange, so they have no option but to give you some attention

but maybe the best thing is to not take it so seriously, don't hide, just go for it whether you're naff or brilliant and anyway you always have a few moments grace at the top of a show- the audience default is to love you until you do something to make them think otherwise

Monday, 6 March 2017

Spring is the thing

Don't let the  novelty and  anarchistic  bluster of the early morning random twitterer in the big place over there blind you to the fact that he is an aging blunderer who didn't think he'd get the job, he didn't want the job, but now he's there he is losing it rapidly, and besides I wouldn't invite him into my house, cos I don't like his face (maybe that's superficial) and I don't want mysteriously dying Russian diplomats to distract me from the important things like green buds everywhere and things beginning to flower on this frosty March morning. What a weird world but spring is the thing.