Pretending to be in control

Written before BJ went into hospital:

So yesterday, the 1st of April, was the first day I haven't gone out at all. Two reasons: fear and I don't have a mask. There is increasing evidence, coming out of many places that are dealing better, including from Czech Republic, that wearing a mask, while imperfect,  stops a lot of transmission, even if you are healthy. so the authorities used to think perfect was the way now they think 'better than nothing'

I have been fairly decisive up until now. Decision making for me is a bit reliant on getting approving agreeing voices. and indecision is scary. There is agreement that it is getting worse: there is an avalanche of death and new cases everyday, but there is debate about what is the best thang to do. 

Boris  is trying to be a hero- infecting those around him - this old style hero act doesn't wash anymore. No-one believes it. Covid just makes it obvious. He is trying to be all 'don't panic! stay calm!' then doing 'not being calm' in full public the thing that causes indecision, the calm thing is to admit you are ill and delegate to those who know and trust them to deal. But he, or he and his advisors, are more scared of losing control than they are of the virus.

 Maybe there is nothing to do but let this thing wash over us, enter, then leave. In a meditative way being an observer. But trying to square the meditative approach with being aware of the politics- 

it worries me how dictatorially inclined governments may be using this situation to introduce legislation that limits and controls personal freedom.

its worrying that Boris and cronies don't know what to do and that their pretence is so thin

That they do not trust the experts, that they want to control things.

Collectively, the people are wiser when the way is not obvious. In a situation where there is not an immediate emergency then leaders can get on with leading but in a crisis like this the masses will lead. there may be a breakdown of control at the top , but society will hold strong. Those at the top may try and exploit the situation and spread fear but the people will not buy it

Whatever your politics , whoever you blame, however itchy your getting with isolation, however much you want to take your anger out against ’them”, whatever mistakes have been made, whether you believe it escaped from a lab, blame the CIA, China, think its a myth, think you can’t cope. BULLSHIT !!!

Big angry feelings, though big are not as big as the fact that

PEOPLE ARE DYING AND PEOPLE ARE TREATING ILL AND DYING PEOPLE . 

Against these big angry claustrophobic feelings many  have is your huge reservoir of compassion love for those you close to you, your huge reservoir of patience and good humour, your kindness. 

Your ability to cope, to draw on your strength is going to constantly surprise you, your ability to help others cope is going to surprise you.

Before antibiotics and modern medicine we had to live with threat of disease and disaster. Obviously not a good thing, but however much we think we are in the driving seat all the time, we are not, but acceptance that total control total safety is a myth is a good thing. 

However strong and positive you are, you may still get the disease. You are simply getting stronger , preparing yourself it is not a “miracle cure” to be debunked.

if you are in isolation, and going crazy with boredom, the sound of others voices, the way they eat, get a life! that is easy compared to what the bereaved, the carers, the nurses, the doctors are dealing with all the time

Whatever mistakes may have been made are dwarfed by the size of the problem. 

Humans have a much better and longer record of survival than this virus, so don’t get in a tizz.