'Yeaah! know wotumean, Ginny'

'Yeaah! know wotumean, Ginny' 

Alone, I often fall down into 

nothingness. I must push my foot

stealthily lest I should fall off the edge

of the world into nothingness. 

I have to bang my head against some

hard door to call myself back to the body

(Virginia Woolf)

IF I KNEW THEN

It seems to be accepted wisdom that having a choice is empowering- 'yes but you had a choice',
But if I knew 20 years ago that the consequences of my actions then would lead to the facts of my life now I would have lived a different life. I don’t believe that most people know the consequences of their choices. I certainly didn't.
"but you did' they said
Yes I suppose I chose not to be part of a fucked up world, although I didn't know it at the time.

Science catches up with what we know in our bones

I am reading ‘Lost Connections’, a book about how disconnectedness is the major cause of depression; it’s so obvious that occasionally he lapses into tautological bad writing: 

‘... if disconnection  is the main driver of depression and anxiety, we need to find ways to reconnect’

Duh! Bad hack science stuff!- 

‘So I travelled thousands of miles interviewing anyone who might understand this’.

 Sincere, yes, needs to be said, yes, but kind of obvious.

Maybe science research and writing only chooses to look at the blindingly obvious! - scientifically proving  what is intuitively second nature. If it changes the establishment mind set, then, of course, it’s a very good thing. 
Science catches up with what we know in our bones but it takes its time. 
Intuition and common sense may not be foolproof but they are quicker

There is a political angle to somatic awareness, dealing with the effects of one’s condition  - it means being self aware and adaptable, and moving away from reliance on ‘the system’ of experts and medical establishment upon which much of the structure of medicine and social care is based. But let’s look at a simple problem-  going downstairs- I find  this hard and often nearly fall and lose balance. 

I can EITHER

1) get handrails installed at a cost or get prescribed muscle relaxants, or insist that I get transferred to the ground floor or get a lift installed,

OR

2)I can retrain my body to go down stairs slower, I can look at and understand the mechanics of going downstairs improve my balance, notice how much I rely on eyes or inner ear vestibular system for balance and orientation in space.

How can politicians and decision makers encourage self awareness  vs dependance without getting involved in polarised right vs left arguments?

brexit (lower case 'b' intentional)

I have steered clear of brexit but its there, and its really really stupid and maybe people are blaming europe for their powerlessness, but I was a little massively miffed by recent comments that made me want to retch -
Re Rees Mogg trying to claim 'muddling through' as a British attribute because as he says 'we British are made of sterner stuff' hackles rise because:
1) it seems to admit the the irrrationality of his position re Brexit
2) The hypocrisy of the phrase 'we British'. What has he, rich, cossetted toff got in common with Cleethorpes bloke?
3) He implies that if you are not willing to'muddle through' Brexit then you are a snowflake and non British. Duh
Everyone muddles through, its called adaptability.
Some are more organised than others, more concerned than others more active in the world, but trying to make this crazy wonderful flawed world we live in rational, as we 'muddle through' is what people do- 'muddling through' is not unique to Brexit, not unique to Britishness. There are 200 nations on this planet, Jacob
Its easy to insult people, especially easy targets and their is so much mudslinging around Brexit but he's a bit of a dinosaur isn't he? the Reesmoggosaurus, an endangered species that doesn't need rescuing unless ... and ..er.. what a ridiculous person

saying how things are

Saying how things are is not complaining.

 I cannot breathe sometimes. 

I’m all for optimism but happy clappy positivism? 

There is something very dysfunctional about pretending to smile while ignoring the rubbish around you,

Pretending everything is hunky dory,
But carrying on despite how crap it is
 but its abit desperate
when i catch awhiff of that desperation,  
I fear what's beneath

On a National Express coach to Devon I tried darning a darn in a jumper I’d already done that had come undone. Too much vibration. I was clumsy. DON’T DARN ON BUSES!